“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” -Buddha
If you keep waiting for people to like or love you, your wait maybe forever. In fact, for you to be able to accept and appreciate the affection of others, you need to give it to yourself first. Spend time, money and resources in taking care of yourself, not for anyone to admire you but because you love yourself and you want to show it to yourself.
The word affection is one that primarily describes our actions towards others and not to ourselves; as perceived by most people. But that is where the misconception starts, it is not only possible but highly recommended that you also have affections towards yourself. You need to have strong affections towards yourself before any form of constructive affection can grow for others. Now, most people always talk about how noble it is to put others before you, but if you truly put yourself last, we all know what might happen (you’ll die for everybody, and no one will probably remember you).
Showing affection towards yourself before anyone else might sound a bit selfish but frankly speaking, everything we do is for selfish reasons. It might only be a good one; for example making an effort to change humanity because of the joy and happiness of being fulfilled and impacting lives. Humans are often driven by rewards, and even if you do not know if you do everything for the desired result, so when it seems that you do not care about yourself you should take time to meditate on the reward that is compelling you to do so, it might not be worth it, here is one that actually is.
The most basic human instinct is survival and all the necessary things we do is in that regards, whenever it looks like you are giving up your survival for to acquire something or someone it’s because deep down you believe that you need that person or that thing to survive, for instance, some people derive their importance from other people’s approval, so they don’t mind doing whatever it takes to get it. But that’s all wrong the first person
You always need to remember that time waits for no man and one day you will no longer be in this world, if you live your entire life loving everyone apart from yourself you will realize, on your dying bed, that you did not live a life. You need to enjoy every moment enjoy them just because you like them that’s how to show the world that you matter most.
Deep down, you know that you matter most and you know that every other person feels that way, so why do you hide it? Why do you keep punishing yourself to get on the good books when quite frankly speaking they don’t care about your opinion as much as their happiness?
As shocking as it may sound, some people don’t understand themselves and are not even aware of their true identity and that is because they’ve lost themselves in trying to love and be like others. You need to realize sooner than later that you are your best friend and no one has your best interest in mind more than you do, learn to show yourself love and affection and learn to interpret your feelings more.
I’ve been on the natural skin care path for some time now. Raw honey, apple cider vinegar, essential oils, and baking soda are all staples in my beauty regimen. As you know by now, experimentation is key to this process. And that is what OiB is all about, grabbing that piece of knowledge and make it yours to own, use and ideal propagate in your own circle. It takes time and dedication.
I personally love when I discover a new recipe that I can reexploxe at home in my bathroom. There is no one size fits all beauty routine. Recently, I’ve started to experiment with multi-masking. The concept behind multi-masking is simple: Feed your skin what it needs by using different masks at the same time that are specific to each area of your skin.
Here’s a crash course in multi-masking with3 face mask recipes for T-zone, eyes and dry areas. Because you too might want to rethink applying a single mask to your entire face.
∴ Mask 1: Clay T-Zone Mask
The t-zone area for many usually produces the most oil and can be the home of breakouts. You’ll want to use this mask on the forehead, chin and nose region, as it’s designed to control oil, fight bacteria and curb acne. Try this Clay and Witch Hazel mask to pull out those impurities, unclog your pores, and tighten the t-zone area.
1 tablespoon witch hazel
1 teaspoon bentonite clay
2 drops lemon essential oil (optional)
Combine ingredients and stir until blended. Don’t use metal spoons or bowls to mix.
Apply to your forehead, chin, and nose with clean fingers and leave on for 10 minutes. Super oily skin types can l
Leave on for up to 20 minutes.
Rinse off with warm water.
∴Mask 2: Carrot Eye Area Mask
The area around the eyes show signs of aging the quickest because this area of the skin has the fewest oil glands, making it prone to dehydration and fine lines. You’ll want to treat the eye area with it’s own powerful mask to best fight fine lines and firm the skin. A mask designed to fight wrinkles can be created with just a few ingredients.
1 egg white
1 tablespoon finely shredded carrot. Use a regular carrot, not a baby carrot. Baby carrots loose a lot of their natural nutrients when turned into little nubs.
1 teaspoon aloe vera
Combine egg white, carrot and aloe vera in a small bowl. Beat mixture together with a fork until frothy (about 1 minute).
With clean hands or a brush, apply the mask around and under the eyes. Avoid the eyelids because you don’t want to get it in your eyes.
Let the mask dry for at least 15 minutes or up to 30 minutes. You will definitely feel the mask tightening your skin! But if it gets uncomfortable, go ahead and remove it.
Use a soft, wet towel to gently clean off the mask.
∴ Mask 3 – Vitamin E and Avocado Mask for Outer Edges/Dry Patches
The sections around the outer edges of the face, usually the neck, temples, and outer cheeks, can also be dry and often need extra hydration. Choose a mask that will help retain your own skin’s moisture. This vitamin E and honey mask will do just that, and the oil from the avocado will be the hydrating boost for those dry patches that sometimes can make the skin feel tight or cracked.
1 teaspoon vitamin E oil (about 3 vitamin E capsules)
1 teaspoon honey
Mix all of the ingredients in a bowl and apply to your neck and dry areas for 10-15 minutes, rinse off with warm water.
Yogurt can be much more intimate that you may think. I will not mention its fabulous and natural healing and calming properties for your skin. No, that would be a sacrilege. Why? Because today, on OiB, we indulge ourself. A me-time should I say. You have finished pampered yourself, you had some turmeric latte to kick start your day.
Now, it is time for breakfast time. Yes, it’s time to take yogurt beyond fruit and granola. Look to your favorite spices and nuts, consider the possibilities of any leftover cooked veggies you have in your fridge, and start layering ingredients until you have a bowl that’s to your liking. Not sure where to start? Here’s some good options.
And the good thing is all of which can be happily mixed and matched.
1- The base: Tomato
Tomatoes, raw or roasted, is plain yogurt’s best friend. Chopped or grated raw cucumber is great, too, as are shredded or thinly-sliced carrots and radishes. Roasted or sautéed onions or garlic, squash, greens, and mushrooms are also good options. Even better if you have them leftover from dinner the night before.
2- The Taste: Pesto
Use any herb you like: basil, parsley, dill, mint, etc. Do you have some pesto or herb oil in the fridge? Definitely use that.
3- Shape it: Nuts, Grains & Seeds
Because every bowl of yogurt is better with something crunchy on top, pick your favorite nuts and seeds and sprinkle generously. Go for pumpkin, sesame, and chia seeds; almonds, cashews, hazelnuts, and pistachios; or crunchy coconut chips.
(I like to toast a mix of a few different nuts and seeds in a small skillet before adding them to my yogurt bowl, but you don’t necessarily have to do that.) Nut and seed butters work with yogurt, too, so go ahead and add a swirl of almond butter, tahini or even hummus. Feel free to check my Facebook page for more details. I am also on Instagram and Twitter 😉
Instead of sweet granola, try raw or toasted rolled oats, or an unsweetened puffed grain cereal. Leftover cooked whole grains or quinoa can be a nice, chewy addition as well. Quinoa? Sounds familiar. If not, click on the link for a quick reminder
4- The rest
Never forget a sprinkling of salt: it’s the finishing touch that makes everything sing. If that salt is a flaky sea salt and adds a little bit of crunch, even better. Something spicy like chili flakes or curry powder is always nice, too. For that matter, so is a few shakes of hot sauce.
Unless you’re using pesto or herb oil, a drizzle of your very best olive oil is the ultimate finish for a savory yogurt bowl.
Note: I would hate to show off my [not-that] awesome photography skills on OiB one day. Yet, that day has not come yet. The visual used to prepare my article are from Epicurious.com.
So, now you know 😉 Oh, the possibilities! Have you ever tried savory yogurt? What are your favorite combinations?
Exhilarating, comfortable, and affordable are just some of the ways expats describe their life in Asia. I recall leaving China for Malaysia back in 2013 – and before UK to China in 2012 – I felt mixed feeling of excitement and fear of unknown.
Now, I look back and I know that squeezing my life into a suitcase and leaving our native Paris was the best decision that I could have possibly made. Because when you move away, when you turn your life into a journey filled with uncertainty, you grow up in unexpected ways.
You face new challenges, you get to know parts of you you didn’t know existed, you’re amazed at yourself and at the world. You learn, you broaden your horizons. You unlearn, and after coming down and embracing a few lessons, you start growing in humility. You evolve. You feel homesick… and you shape memories that will stay with you forever.
Today in OiB, I will use Angie Cartells original post published in Spanish in 2014 to convey the contradictions you experiment you live abroad. If you’ve ever lived away from home or embarked on a long journey, I’m sure you too have felt these 17 things that change forever when you live abroad.
1. ADRENALIN BECOMES PART OF YOUR LIFE.
From the moment you decide to move abroad, your life turns into a powerful mix of emotions – learning, improvising, dealing with the unexpected… All your senses sharpen up, and for a while the word “routine” is dismissed from your vocabulary to make space for an ever rising adrenalin thrill ride. New places, new habits, new challenges, new people. Starting anew should terrify you, but it’s unusually addictive.
2.BUT WHEN YOU GO BACK… EVERYTHING LOOKS THE SAME.
That’s why, when you get a few days off and fly back home, it strikes you how little everything has changed. Your life’s been changing at a non-stop pace, and you’re on holidays and ready to share all those anecdotes you’ve been piling up. But, at home, life’s the same as ever. Everyone keeps struggling with their daily chores, and it suddenly strikes you: life won’t stop for you.
3.YOU LACK THE (AND YET YOU HAVE TOO MANY) WORDS.
When someone asks you about your new life, you lack the right words to convey all you’re experiencing. Yet later, in the middle of a random conversation, something reminds you about ‘that time when’…, and you have to hold your tongue because you don’t want to overwhelm everyone with stories from your ‘other country’ and come across as pretentious.
4.YOU COME TO UNDERSTAND THAT COURAGE IS OVERRATED.
Lots of people will tell you how brave you are – they too would move abroad if they weren’t so scared. And you, even though you’ve been scared, too, know that courage makes up about 10% of life-changing decisions. The other 90% is purely about wanting it with all your heart. Do you want to do it, do you really feel like doing it? Then do it. From the moment we decide to jump, we’re no longer cowards nor courageous – whatever comes our way, we deal with it.
«It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.»
5. AND, SUDDENLY, YOU’RE FREE.
You’ve always been free, but freedom feels different now. Now that you’ve given up every comfort and made it work thousands of miles away from home… you feel like you’re capable of anything!
6.YOU NO LONGER SPEAK ONE PARTICULAR LANGUAGE.
Sometimes you unintentionally let a word from another language slip. Other times you can only think of a way of saying something… with that perfect word which, by the way, is in the wrong language. When you interact with a foreign language on a daily basis, you learn and unlearn at the same time. All the while you’re soaking up cultural references and swear words in your second language, you find yourself reading in your mother tongue so it won’t get rusty. Like that time when Homer took a home winemaking course and forgot how to drive.
7.YOU LEARN TO SAY GOODBYE… AND TO ENJOY YOURSELF.
You soon realize that now, most things and people in your life are just passing through, and you instinctively play down the importance of most situations. You perfect the right balance between bonding and letting go – a perpetual battle between nostalgia and pragmatism.
8. YOU HAVE TWO OF EVERYTHING.
Two SIM cards (one of them packed with phone numbers from all over the world), two library cards, two bank accounts… And two types of coins, which always end up mysteriously mixing when you’re about to pay for something.
9.NORMAL? WHAT’S NORMAL?
Living abroad, like traveling, makes you realise that ‘normal’ only means socially or culturally accepted. When you plunge into a different culture and a different society, your notion of normality soon falls apart. You learn there are other ways of doing things, and after a while, you too take to that habit you never thought you’d embrace. You also get to know yourself a little better, because you discover that some things you really believe in, while others are just a cultural heritage of the society you grew up in.
10.YOU BECOME A TOURIST IN YOUR OWN CITY.
That tourist trap you may not have visited in your country only adds up to the never-ending list of things to do in your new home, and you soon become quite the expert on your new city. But when someone comes over for a few days and asks for some suggestions, you find it really hard to recommend but a few things – if it were up to you, you’d recommend visiting everything!
I try to head home once a year, and each time, the same scenario happens: I succeed to get lost in the parisian metro, see myself checking and re-checking the metro map hoping to arrive on time when meeting friends.
11.YOU LEARN HOW TO BE PATIENT… AND HOW TO ASK FOR HELP.
When you live abroad, the simplest task can become a huge challenge. Processing paperwork, finding the right word, knowing which bus to take. There’s always moments of distress, but you’re soon filled with more patience than you ever knew you had in you, and accept that asking for help is not only inevitable, but also a very healthy habit.
12.TIME IS MEASURED IN TINY LITTLE MOMENTS.
It’s as if you were looking through the car window – everything moves really slowly at the back, in the distance, while in front of you life passes by at full speed. On the one hand, you receive news from home – birthdays you missed, people who left without you getting the chance to say goodbye one last time, celebrations you won’t be able to attend. On the other hand, in your new home life goes by at top speed. Time is so distorted now, that you learn how to measure it in tiny little moments, either a Skype call with your family and old friends or a pint with the new ones.
13.NOSTALGIA STRIKES WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.
A food, a song, a smell. The smallest trifle can overwhelm you with homesickness. You miss those little things you never thought you’d miss, and you’d give anything to go back to that place, even if it were just for an instant. Or to share that feeling with someone who’d understand you…
14.BUT YOU KNOW IT’S NOT WHERE, BUT WHEN AND HOW.
Although deep down, you know you don’t miss a place, but a strange and magical conjunction of the right place, the right moment and the right people. That year when you traveled, when you shared your life with special ones, when you were so happy. There’s a tiny bit of who you were scattered among all the places you’ve lived in, but sometimes going back to that place is not enough to stop missing it.
I’m sure you’ve heard about life-changing trips. Well, they’re not a commonplace – living abroad is a trip that will profoundly change your life and who you are. It will shake up your roots, your certainties and your fears. Living in Edinburgh changed us forever in many ways, and if it weren’t for that experience, we probably wouldn’t be about to embark on our next life adventure right now. Maybe you won’t realise it, or even believe it, before you do it. But after some time, one day you’ll see it crystal clear. You’ve evolved, you’ve got scars, you’ve lived. You’ve changed.
16.YOU FIT YOUR HOME INTO A SUITCASE.
From the moment you squeeze your life into a suitcase (or, if you’re lucky with your airline, two), whatever you thought ‘home’ was doesn’t exist anymore. Almost anything you can touch can be replaced – wherever you travel, you’ll end up stockpiling new clothes, new books, new mugs. But there will come a day when you’ll suddenly feel at home in your new city. Home is the person traveling with you, the people you leave behind, the streets where your life takes place. Home is also the random stuff in your new flat, those things you’ll get rid of in the blink of an eye when the time to leave comes. Home is all those memories, all those long-distance calls with your family and friends, a bunch of pictures. Home is where the heart is.
17. AND… THERE’S NO TURNING BACK.
Now you know what it means to give up comfort, what starting from scratch and marveling at the world every day feels like. And it being such a huge, endless world… How could you choose not to keep traveling and discovering it?
Have you ever lived abroad? Is there anything you would add to this list? Drop us a comment and tell us about your experience!